UGH!!!

    Well, I have been off the wagon over here! I am not even going to lie or make excuses about it either! I have just felt like crap and all I can say is UGH! I am frustrated with myself! I haven't been eating no where near what I should or for that matter even exercising at all. I am getting back on the wagon and have a motivation to lose at least 20 lbs by the end of March. I know that seems a little extreme but not to me! When you weigh as much as I do you can expect weight to come off a little faster in the beginning and then slow down to where it should be which is about 2 lbs a week, give or take. I am going to get on the wagon and make it my bitch, excuse my language! I am just tired of being fat and tired! I will be getting on the treadmill at least 3 times a week for at least 30 mins each time and I am going to do my best to go to gym 2 times a week (probably Wed. and Fri.). I made these plans forever ago, but time to get going! Anyone else in??


    On a better note, I went couponing yesterday and scored some amazing deals. I got 8 large boxes of Kellogg's cereal, 2 tubs of Country Crock, 4 tubes of Tylenol Precise cream, 2 bottles of Clorox bleach, 6 cans of Campbell's Chunky soup, and 2 bottles of Kraft BBQ sauce for $24.98 with a savings of $63.16!!! I was so excited! This was at Kroger. I also went to Walmart, but the deals weren't as great there but did score 4 bottles of Cheer laundry detergent and 2 bottles of All laundry detergent for around 1.50 each by price matching and coupons. It was a great day. I think I may go back to Kroger and get some more cereal today!


    Well I am off to finish all of my chores today so that I can study tomorrow! Everyone have a great day!

It's been a while!!!

    Well first off let me say HELLO! LOL And that I am sorry it has been so long since I have been on here and posted anything. I have been super busy with school and it is wearing on me. Now to the good part I am down 2 more pounds, which puts me at 272. I know that is not much improvement. I should be seeing better results, but I haven't been eating like I should and my appetite suppresant is not strong enough to last all day (hence the eating). I can not get the dosage raised until I go in for my next check up, so I am dealing until then. I also have not exercised. I need to get my butt on that treadmill, but I just feel like a cow when I try to walk on it. I know the only way to fix that is get on it but damn it's hard.
    Today was a rough day! I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but got over it and got my day started. Hell, I even put on make up and dressed decent today lol. Then class drug on and it was awful. Then I realized that my "friend" is only my friend when it is convenient and when no one is looking so to speak. Well honey, let me say this because if you read this you know who you are. I was there when all the ones you are hanging with now were not and I am still here. Just because I'm not perfect and pretty and skinny like them doesn't mean I do not have feelings and that I do not notice that you pretty much ignore me when they are around. I like them and really they are more accepting of me than you in my eyes. Okay! So that was my rant about that!
    But that was not the end of my day, after everyone got home tonight we decided to go get something to eat. Well here we go over to this little resturant and I am being looked at like I am a fat cow. That was the first time I ever noticed anyone staring at me eating like I had a sign on me that said stare at this cow while she eats and maybe it will stop. I wanted to cry, yell, and become invisible all at once. It was the worst feeling I have had in a long time. It was more than one table / group too. And none of them were really thin either, I have no room to judge but they made me feel like shit. I knew in that moment that I have let it go too far. I am so ready for this change!!!
    Well this is it for the night! I am sure that I will be posting more often like I did the first week. It makes me feel better and makes me accountable and I need that. Good night everyone!!!

Motivation

   Well I started all of my medicine yesterday. Some of it kind of made me sick to my stomach in the morning yesterday and today but I got through it. Yesterday was good. I got a lot of things around the house done and worked on some coupons and homework. Today was just blah, I stayed up too late last night and I was tired and lecture was long and drawn out and I feel like I did not learn anything from it. It was just one of them days.
   The good thing is that I have made it through the last 2 days not being hungry. I have controlled what I am eating and had extra energy. I love the appetite suppressant! I am sticking to my diet and starting this weekend I will utilizing my treadmill. Starting next week some of my nursing buddies and I will be going to the gym on campus on Wed. before class and Fri. (once we no longer have class). I am looking forward to getting back in to the gym. Having a group of people will make me be more accountable for going and I really need that! Now if I only had my workout buddy, Becca. She would keep me so motivated and we always had so much fun working out! I miss you girl, we definitely need to get together soon.
   Well I am off to work on some homework and finish my shopping list for my very first Publix trip tomorrow. I am so excited and I can not wait.